i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
