I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
