Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
