My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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