nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
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