Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
