u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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