Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize
