I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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