You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
