All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
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