he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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