Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
