dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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