I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Randomize
