You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
