Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Randomize
