Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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