hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
