so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
