It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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