We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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