nutella sex= disaster
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
