If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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