His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Dicks are not precious.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
