I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
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His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
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Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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