i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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