Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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