Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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