White coat. Heels.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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