She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize