Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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