Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
