Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Randomize
