i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
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