idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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