ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize
