I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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