I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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