was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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