I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
