One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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