Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
