i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
