it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Randomize
