Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
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i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
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He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
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