Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
