It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Randomize
