seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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