Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
