You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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