i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
