Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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