Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
