Texts From Last Night

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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger

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  (843): so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger http://tfl.nu/soaz
  Replies (12) Good night (634) Bad night (1102)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  Banned from zoo.

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Again?

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  (240): Banned from zoo. (301): Again? http://tfl.nu/bv0w
  Replies (44) Good night (17523) Bad night (1347)
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  (310): View more from California

  Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.

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  (310): Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar. http://tfl.nu/dxcg
  Replies (2) Good night (4350) Bad night (592)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.

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  (813): There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet. http://tfl.nu/6irr
  Replies (16) Good night (1105) Bad night (3104)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.

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  (614): I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that. http://tfl.nu/pxw6
  Replies (7) Good night (1018) Bad night (3894)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech

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  (808): you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech http://tfl.nu/bl5m
  Replies (25) Good night (4630) Bad night (1487)
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  (661): View more from California

  Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half

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  (661): Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half http://tfl.nu/okef
  Replies (14) Good night (1082) Bad night (3980)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.

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  (312): Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture. http://tfl.nu/p8k2
  Replies (5) Good night (2950) Bad night (890)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some

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  (469): I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some http://tfl.nu/99sq
  Replies (5) Good night (1994) Bad night (580)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it

  (1-512): View more from Texas

  We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...

  (512): View more from Texas

  This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.

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  (512): Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it (1-512): We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream... (512): This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life. http://tfl.nu/ar28
  Replies (5) Good night (2958) Bad night (639)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.

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  (410): I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man. http://tfl.nu/n99f
  Replies (2) Good night (426) Bad night (661)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Breakfast of champions

  (206): View more from Washington

  Is that a dick crepe?

  (425): View more from Washington

  It is indeed

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  (425): Breakfast of champions (206): Is that a dick crepe? (425): It is indeed http://tfl.nu/tzit
  Replies (4) Good night (1030) Bad night (412)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.

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  (813): Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype. http://tfl.nu/49n0
  Replies (4) Good night (1229) Bad night (364)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss

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  (252): you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss http://tfl.nu/gf0h
  Replies (0) Good night (555) Bad night (417)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.

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  (518): If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating. http://tfl.nu/6lgh
  Replies (3) Good night (261) Bad night (123)

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