i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
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Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
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Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.