and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS