i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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