There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I want to fling myself into the sun
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize