You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
