the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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