I can tuck mytits in my pants
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
