Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
