the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
