College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
The dick lei will go down in squad history
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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