foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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