Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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